What I was not hoping for is offensive blanket statements.

I was hoping readers would share their point of reference and their insight. We can all laugh, cry, say “it wasn’t like that for me” or “yeah, me too.”

What have we learned in our times in Japan? How’d we learn those lessons?

I was hoping for a little fun…but it doesn’t seem to be happening.

I may not have been married to a Japanese national, lived in the county for 10+ years, or attended a singe wedding or funeral but then I don’t think that should be a pre-qualification for stating your thoughts on a subject and sharing what you have learned with others. I could have accomplished all that I listed above and my opinion may be no more valid than someone who has immersed themselves in the culture (or one aspect of it) for a much shorter period of time.

I believe that opinions stated by foreigners can come off as offensive when they are made as blanket statements of fact or in a manner that presents the writer as an expert. But then again they are an expert of their own experiences – those experiences may simply be different than others…

If someone sets foot for the first time in Melbourne, Australia, they are utterly qualified to tell me what it is like for a foreigner to arrive in Melbourne and they have a better view on that than I could ever have. They would not be qualified to tell me why Melburnians acted the way they did toward them but they would be within their rights to ask some Melburnians what they think is behind the behaviour and ask other foreigners if they had the same experience and then report on it. What’s more, if their experience isn’t a good one then that’s something I and the city of Melbourne and airport authorities could put to good use making the experience better.

Having been through the experience of moving to Nagoya as an expat wife, I am qualified to help others going through the same experience insofar as I can tell them what might make things run more smoothly for them than it did for me or what really helped me in the process – a native Nagoyan, who does not work in the relocation industry, is not qualified to do so.

Similarly, someone who works in a particular industry internationally is perfectly qualified to come here and assess the industry by the standards and practices according to the objective criteria of that industry. That same person won’t be qualified to make assumptions about the reasons behind the differences but they will be qualified to ask educated questions of the locals in the industry (and hopefully get some pertinent answers).

It’s all comes down to point of view and assumptions being careful to write from only your own perspective and being careful not to make assumptions for which you have no experience. Intelligent people wouldn’t dream of doing anything else. And it goes both ways – the locals are no more qualified to write about what it is like to be a foreigner in Japan than foreigners are to write about what it is like to be Japanese. All these blogs are about reaching out and understanding each other which some of us think is at least worthwhile and possibly even important.